Sacrifice

by Joanna van der Hoeven (Autumn Song)

Many people in the pagan community have differing ideas on the concept of sacrifice. Here I can only offer my own view, to share with others. These words, much as the notion of sacrifice, are a purely personal experience.

Let me first describe what to me is the difference between an offering and a sacrifice. Offerings can be daily elements of the ritual of our lives; offerings of incense, of songs to the dawn, food from each meal. Offerings are often given in thanks; for the day, for the restoration of health to a loved one, for a wandering pet’s return. For some, offerings are a return of what we have in abundance, for example, a farmer returning a sheaf of wheat to the land, or some of the autumn’s blackberry port that was made poured back beneath the bushes from whence the fruit was obtained. Offerings are used to establish a relationship, to give back for what we have received in turn from an honourable existence. They nurture a relationship. So, in that context, what is sacrifice?

For me, sacrifice is something that you just don’t want to give up. It hurts. Yet, to be able to move onto the next level, to deepen a relationship further, instead of just nurturing it with an offering, a sacrifice must be made. Sacrifice is giving up something that is sacred to you. It can’t be easy. It can’t be something that has outlived its purpose. It can’t be something that you don’t really care about, or that you have in abundance. It can’t be something that can be replaced. It has to show dedication, devotion, commitment. It has got to hurt.

When I speak of hurting, I don’t mean physical pain, although that too in a way can be seen as a sacrifice. If something will forever be changed because of it, then perhaps it can be deemed as sacrifice (a tattoo, for instance). To push through barriers of pain can be a sacrifice of what we strive for as human beings – comfort being one of the greatest drives. Yet there can be an emotional pain in sacrifice as well. That the physical pain in sacrifice is our own cannot be questioned – we should never harm another being in the name of sacrifice, or for whatever reason. If we are to sacrifice our own personal comfort, then it must be sufficient to move onto a new level of relationship. We may not always be willing to sacrifice, however, we can be ready to.

Some argue that time can be sacrificed, yet I would argue that if one has come to a relationship with the god of Time, then one will find that they have all the time in the world to attain what they wish. Time, for me, can only be an offering, even though it can be seen as irreplaceable. Time is not a sacrifice when it means spending more time at the local soup kitchen and less time in front of the television – it is merely a reprioritising of time, and what is important.

Can money be a sacrifice? Again, this for me is more of an offering than a sacrifice for most people. Money can be replaced, for instance. Yet, if one gives all their money to another, is that not a sacrifice? Perhaps yes, perhaps no. For me, money can always be made, yet I live in the luxury of not worrying too much about where my next meal comes from. So, for me, money is an offering, much as food and time.

So what constitutes sacrifice? In my own experience, an item (so far it has always been an item) must be thought over for hours, even days, as to whether or not I wish to sacrifice it. If I can find other things that I would willingly sacrifice before it, then they are not worthy. Some might think of this train of thought as merely masochistic. Again, it comes down to what is truly sacred to one’s self, and what one needs to do in order to progress to the next level.

Recently, I spent all night in my tepee, knowing that I had to sacrifice something in the morning before the ritual. I knew that I wanted to go deeper into my druidry, and that the spirits of place and my gods required it of me. I hummed and hawed over it, wondering if I had anything else in my pack that I could sacrifice instead of my beloved and sacred bead bracelet. I didn’t. It was either my eagle pendant or my bracelet. I couldn’t sacrifice my wooden beaded necklaces, they were just too easy – I didn’t have a large enough emotional attachment to them. The spirits of place would not accept that offering, as I felt. It was not sufficient in order to attain the deeper relationship that I craved. My eagle pendant, after long thought, was replaceable, though I would miss it dearly in the months that it would take to find another one. My bracelet, however, one of a kind with many dear memories attached, was not at all replaceable. That would be my sacrifice.

I have also sacrificed a medicine bag, and a wedding ring. None of these items I wanted to let go, but just knew I had to if I was to progress along my spiritual journey. I miss them dearly, but the value in giving them up makes up for their loss, in a sense. I have a deeper understanding about myself, about what is important to me, and by sacrificing these things to the spirits I feel that they know me better, know my intentions more clearly, and that we have a stronger, deeper, newer and more committed relationship for it. To me, that is the true nature of sacrifice.