Magpie has been studying Druidry since 1996, when at the
tender age of
20, a book fell on his foot and made him take notice. Since his involvement
with the British Druid Order and its associated online presence, his responsibilites
for the Druid Network include managing the Forums, and a healthy passion for
the Learning Druidry project. He can usually be found around a camp fire,
playing guitar and singing songs by New Model Army, or Britney Spears.
What are your earliest memories of paganism?
I never looked back at my beliefs with that air of "oh, I guess I've
always been a Pagan" that you find so many people saying. I first became
aware of it when I was in my late teens - from about 15 onwards. It began
as a growing feeling of discontent, of watching and listening to my classmates,
and their aspirations. Their lack of any clear direction or idea as to what
they were supposed to be doing in the world and why they were even alive.
I think that, looking back, this instilled in me some kind of need to not
waste the time I had.
It wasn't until about 2 years later that I first read about any forms of
paganism (first Wicca, and then Druidry). At the time, Druidry was all about
wearing white bedsheets and worshipping the sun, so I wasn't really that interested.
Similarly, Wicca seemed lacking in any really mature ethical structure, and
too much was left unproveable and unknowable. I wasn't particularly attracted
to the power games and struggles that seemed to dominate the Wiccan groups
that I came across at the time.
But when I was 20, I came across a point of view that sat more readily with
my soul. It helped me to look back, and remember the things my Dad and my
Grandad had taught me - how to BE with the outdoors. How to take from it if
you need to, but most of all, how to remember that I'm a part of that world.
That I can follow the deer and listen to them, if I need to. Some of my fondest
memories of my Grandad are of being about eight years old, and him taking
me out to the middle of nowhere to find an orchid. I returned with nettle
stings and bramble cuts up my legs. There was no sign of the orchid, but I
was glowingly happy!
Did you ever have any sort of moment of 'realisation'?
Thunderbolts and comets hitting me between the eyes from out of the blue?
As much of a disappointment as it might seem, not really! I've had moments
where delicious clarity has reached me, much later on within my wanderings.
But back in those earliest days, I can remember being thirsty for knowing,
and wanting to find out more, More, MORE! I was very impatient to 'be' whatever
it was I wanted to be, and hadn't learned to just be myself.
How difficult was it as a younger pagan, to practice
your beliefs etc?
I was very lucky, in that my family are very loving and supportive of everything
I do. My parents have always been more than happy for me to believe what I
feel is right for myself, and have no strong religious beliefs of their own
to impose on me. To begin with, I think they met it with a mixture of bemusement
and curiousity. It's much easier nowadays, because the communication with
them is so much clearer - much less of that parent/child struggle that used
to go on (which I think is entirely natural, and something we needed to go
through).
The difficulty for me came in knowing what I was 'supposed' to be doing.
The range of materials available back then (makes me sound old!) was nowhere
near as wide as it is now. I can remember starting small conflagrations in
my bedroom, and getting into trouble for burning the carpet... But that was
just fun! (don't try this at home, though).
I think there was also a sense of isolation, as you've indicated to me yourself.
A few of my friends were willing to listen, and that helped, but there was
nobody to teach me how. The internet changed that, and as soon as I'd learned
how, I talked and talked and talked. As you can see. ;)
How did you find Druidry, what made you pursue
it?
A book fell on my foot.
Seriously, up until Spirits of the Sacred Grove landed on my foot in a bookstore,
my only experience of Druidry had been through the more dry, philosophical
and serious approach that was favoured by the likes of OBOD at the time. Nowadays
things are different. But back then, nothing had been published that even
hinted at the muddy, experiential, feeling Druidry that Bobcat had managed
to encapsulate.
I possibly wouldn't have pursued it, had it not been for the fact that she
was willing to reply to my emails, and give guidance when I asked. Those first
tentative footsteps are ones I'll still remember. She didn't tell me what
to do - instead, she told me to go to the forest and listen. So I did. And
the songs I heard will stay with me until I die.
As a young pagan, did frustration or difficulty
ever make you want to give up?
I don't honestly think I did, as a young pagan. In later years, sure, I got
frustrated with the pain that change can bring about. But good teachers and
a strong community has held me through that.
I'm not sure that I even felt like I was striving to 'get' anywhere, so it's
not like I could give up. There was enough for me to read about, but none
of it was terrifically inspiring. I guess I just never considered that I could
be the only person in the world that felt the way I did.
Looking back now, what would you say about
your young pagan days, how have your experiences shaped your own vision now?
My first experiences with the Pagan community were with a guy who ran a Wiccan
Coven in the area. I remember him looking over his aviator shades and down
his nose at me, and stating that he "didn't deal with children, and it's
mostly women in my coven, anyway". That was such a ridiculous and humbling
experience that I'm determined not to discount anyone's journey, no matter
what the age, if their feelings are sincere.
I'm also wonderfully aware of the sense of nourishment my family can give
to me, even if we do have our differences at times.
What would you say to any young pagan/Druid
who came to you asking for advice on 'where to go' and 'what to do'?
Right. I've written and deleted at least 3 attempts to this question! I shall
try to respond well.
First of all, I cannot know what's right for anyone but myself to do. I can
only share my own understanding, which may or may not be helpful. The following,
I offer with the advice to not take anything at face value, and to try things
for yourself.
First of all, reading books is all well and good to understand how somebody
else has practised Druidry, but practising Druidry is about doing. So to begin
with, it's important to develop the practical, doing aspect of your craft.
Going out and spending time with the land, learning how to listen to it, and
learning how to blur the edges of yourself with your environment is an invaluable
experience. So to start with, spend time with a favourite place.
If you're seeking people with which to share (and so many of us are), it's
not always helpful to plunge headfirst into a grove or similar hands on working
group. Be selective and picky about who you want to associate with. Look out
for signs like power struggles or the ways disagreements are handled in groups
to get an idea of what they're like. If possible, arrange meetings online
(via email, perhaps) first, or in some safe place, before doing anything practical
together. Remember that this is about forming relationships rather than achieving
anything.
Lastly, be yourself. Trying to be something you aren't is easy to see through,
and there's really no need.
And finally, is there anything else you'd like
to add, just in general?
Just that anyone reading this with more questions is very welcome to contact
me by email (j [at] wisemantribe [dot] co [dot] uk)
