Speaking in Silence

Women In Black, watching our world walk towards war ...

By Constance Perenyi

Invocation

How different would our world be
If these men
Who have sold their souls for power
Could remember,
If indeed they ever knew,
The gentle sensation of hand on skin,
Of lip on lip?

For the sake of every living creature
I invoke the goddesses of love and life
To reach out one more time
Before it is too late.

Civilize these men with your touch.
With trembling fingers,
Trace the outlines of their barely beating hearts.
Breathe sweetly,
Remind these men who reek of death
Of the smell of spring.
Let them dip their tongues
Into the ocean between your legs
Until they forget
The taste of blood and devastation.

I whisper your names
So you in turn will whisper theirs.
Come to them
In the middle of the darkest night.
Lay next to them,
Stroke them into recognition
So they can open their eyes
And see the faces
Of every being sacrificed
In their senseless wars.

Awaken them
In the middle of the darkest night,
So we on earth can watch for dawn.

 


There are moments this waiting is unbearable. All of us, holding hope, praying for peace, shutting out the insane bleating of the media so we can find a moment of silence. In the silence, we tell ourselves that each day we buy with sheer will is in itself hopeful. Still, we are haunted by the blood-chilling shrieks of jets over distant, silent deserts.

I have hesitated to write about war, about being an American, about standing with Women in Black in the relatively peaceful city of Seattle. I have held my breath, my words, hoping that there might be resolution first, that I could join in a loud, joyful chorus celebrating the triumph of sanity and compassion. But it all still hangs in the balance. We may be closer or further. We do not know, will not know even if war begins. We have nothing left to do but take one last leap of faith.

For me, and for thousands of women around the world, that leap has been into silence. In 1988, a group of Israeli women joined to witness and protest their country’s bloody occupation of Gaza and the West Bank. Overwhelmed by grief, with complete empathy for the Arab women who also suffered the seemingly endless loss of sons, brothers, husbands, lovers, they wore their mourning clothes into the streets and stood together without speaking a word.

Paradoxically, women had an audible voice in the Middle East in 1988. On both sides of the border, outspoken women in Israel and Palestine were recognized as a political force. But when Women in Black, as they came to be known, found power in silence, the world took notice. Their message and means spread, and in 1991, women in Belgrade began weekly vigils to protest the violence of the Serbian regime. Soon, they were joined by women in Italy, Spain, Germany, England, Azerbaijan, Colombia, and the United States.

Despite a worldwide presence, Women in Black is not a structured organization. It is a loose and responsive network, a fact that frustrates governmental surveillance agents who would like to get their hands on official membership lists. In 1993 when a WIB group formed in New York City, founding members were harassed by the FBI who, like others of their ilk around the world, perceive silent, peaceful women as subversive and threatening. And maybe that is exactly what we are.

I began standing with Women in Black in Seattle a year ago. Our weekly vigils in a heavily trafficked shopping area draw as many as 70 women of diverse age and background. Many of us have spent our lives working for justice and peace. Others, older and younger, are experiencing activism for the first time. Our only means of identification, besides black clothing, is a WIB banner and a scattering of signs. Men do not stand with us but are welcome to participate by handing leaflets to passersby.

Our presence attracts attention. Drivers honk and wave as they pass. Visitors to the city snap photographs as if we were another tourist attraction. People often stop to thank us, a few even bow respectfully to the whole group. Some try to engage us in conversation not realizing that we are maintaining a silent vigil. And still others feel compelled to taunt and insult us, especially as war rhetoric intensifies. A few weeks ago, one young man paced anxiously, reciting scripture and then moving uncomfortably close to each woman in the front row. Staying calm and quiet can be a challenge, our chosen silence keeping us simultaneously vulnerable and protected.

In years of political activism, I have never before chosen to express myself this way. The rest of the week, I am vocal in my opposition to war and occupation. I struggle mightily with being an American and hope fervently that the rest of the world understands how many of us are fighting the blind forces of a government that does not represent us. Each week in that precious hour of silence, issues of nationality dissolve. I am connected not only with the women around me but with those in Iraq. What can they possibly say to comfort their children as they wait for the first bombs to fall? In my own mourning clothes, I sense the despair of women in Palestine and Afghanistan as they bury the dead and hold tenaciously to what remains of their world. And now, loving an Israeli man at great distance, fearing for his safety, I find myself inextricably linked to the women of Israel whose hearts are scarred by betrayal and pain, past and present.

Two weeks ago, I did not stand with Women in Black. Instead, I watched from afar so I could have a sense of how we looked to the rest of the world. My first impression was of a group of very somber, unapproachable women. I looked away, at that moment a stranger to their shared intensity and intimacy. And then I was pierced by pangs of loneliness, as if I watched them through an impenetrable barrier that denied me access to vitality itself. Lately, I awaken from nightmares of loss and separation with similar feelings. I wonder how many other people are staring into the darkness at the same moment, trying desperately to understand why humans choose to wage war when life is so fragile.

This war hangs heavily over all of us. It overshadows even our most carefree moments. I believe that the only way we will survive is by reaching out to other dreamers in the darkness. When I turned back to look at the women with whom I stand, my eyes brimmed with tears of pride. There is dignity in our quiet determination. We will stand in silence as long as it takes to be heard.

Constance Perenyi
March 2003

Women in Black website : http://www.womeninblack.org/index.html