In the beautiful chaos of being a new mum, breastfeeding was my meditation, my way of finding stillness in the whirling dance of visitors, washing and general mayhem surrounding the celebration of new life. No matter how busy life felt the frequent breastfeeds that my son needed were a blessing, a chance for us to both relax and gently explore our still shared energy and space, to softly sink into a place just for the two of us, to gently whisper I love you and feel the trust establish between us.
A time for me to sink my roots into the land where I live and slowly reach into the wet summer skies, adjusting to the energy of my son being outside my body now, yet still so intimately joined. Breastfeeding enabled me to stop, to go slow, to listen to my son’s rhythms and connect to the wisdom of being a new mum, of trusting my instincts and having confidence in the decisions I was now making for the two of us.
And so breastfeeding continued, and together as our energy has turned more outward facing and Joe’s interest in the world began to grow, I enjoyed the freedom of being able to walk unhindered by pregnancy or feeding routines as I carried Joe in a carrier and he fed as I walked. And now, at nearly seven months, Joe still sleeps by my side, barely waking me as he feeds whenever he needs to, for emotional as well as physical nourishment.
Breastfeeding has powerfully enabled me to feel my son’s rhythms, to move at his pace, allowing me to go slowly for the period after birth, naturally allowing time for my body and energy to stabilise, to find stillness and meditation for hours at a time in those first few weeks after the birth that could have otherwise been so exhausting.
With these experiences, for me, also came a strong feeling that breastfeeding was inherent within a woman’s power, and that as a mother I needed to exclusively feed Joe and in doing so the connection made during feeding gives him an energetic and emotional strength to freely progress away from me as he grows, knowing I am always fully there for him, to make new relationships with others with confidence in himself.