The following rite was written by Emma Restall Orr, with numerous sources of inspiration, not least the many families for whom she has performed such rituals over the years.
The Sacred Rite of Naming and Welcoming a Child
When
Most often this is a rite performed for an infant or baby during the first year of his or her life. To do it during the period when a child is starting to toddle, exploring yet still with the clumsiness of his innocence, can make it a little more chaotic, for to hold such a child in sacred space and with focus is neither feasible nor fair. Usually the parents (or those in loco parentis) choose to have the ritual when the child is still young enough to hold, to sleep in arms; magically, at such an age, the child is less distracted by the physical world and absorbing all about him/her more profoundly.
If there is or has been a serious problem in the child, the rite may be done earlier, to ensure that the parents, family and community feel secure that he/she is acknowledged and blessed as fully as is possible.
Although it is usual for the recipient of the rite to be a newly born child, adults themselves do sometimes request this rite, or perform it for themselves. This is often the case when they have journeyed through significant healing of an abusive or negating childhood, and would wish to make a ritual that declares magically their change, their re-birth, and perhaps a name taken by themselves. Aspects of the ritual can in this case be used, with others adapted or removed.
Where
It does not matter where such rites are done, for it is equally valid to have such rites in one’s own back garden as on the moors, the beach, in the forest or the grounds of a hotel. Some choose the ancient sites, stone circles and standing stones, allowing them a clear connection with the distant ancestors and our heritage, while others feel these too solemn for a small child.
Preparing of the Venue
Wherever the rite is performed, making prayers of blessing to cleanse and consecrate may be appropriate. In the same way there is value, of course, in clearing the site of hazards if families and young children will be present. The spirits of place should be honoured, with the celebrant or parents asking if the rite would be accepted and inspired. If the spirits are accepting, the rite will feel their harmonious energy; if they do not, the day will be jarred with complications.
Where appropriate and desired, a temple space can be created, with a sacred Circle delineated and decorated as required. Many Circles are created with flowers, boughs of wood, hops or sheaves of corn, depending on the time of year. The Circle can be cast magically, but even where it is gently drawn – allowing guests (and children) to leave or return – the Circle does bring a stronger focus to the rite.
Where young children may be present at the rite, the parents and celebrant must decide if it is acceptable for them to be wandering or running around inside the Circle or if it would be distracting and they should be kept out of its delineation. While a formal rite might have only the parents and child within, a less formal rite may have everyone sitting around in a circle amidst the natural hubub of family life.
An altar also encourages a clearer focus for those gathered. It could be stone or wood, a low table or covered box. It may be decorated with flowers or foliage of the season, and have upon it the tools for consecration, feasting and other essentials for the rite.
The Participants
This rite is written to be led by one celebrant. This could be a priest trained in the tradition, whose role is to hold the energy of the rite and ensure that the rite is performed with sufficient magic and honour. However, for a less formal or more private rite, these words, with more added or some removed, may be spoken by any member of the gathering.
In this rite, together with the parents and the child to be blessed, there are also the parents’ parents/grandparents and those to be installed as guardians of the child. These guardians may also be called god-parents or goddess-parents. Ushers are useful people in any rite where there are a fair number of guests persent, allowing the parents to focus on the rite unconcerned.
The Ceremony
The ceremony itself is wholly flexible, adapting to the desires of the parents. Here is an example to be used as you would wish. It is written for a girl, instead of stating his/her,son/daughter, at every instance, simply for the sake of clarity. Needless to say, the rite is easily adapted for a boy (excuse the cliché in colours!).
THE TEMPLE IS MADE
The ushers encourage the guests to gather around the Circle. The child and her parents stand at the Circle’s edge. The priest bids everyone welcome giving an outline of the ceremony. She calls to the Spirits of Place that the rite may be done with their guidance and inspiration. She then makes the Call for Peace:
Let there be peace in the East, so let it be.
Let there be peace in the South, so let it be.
Let there be peace in the West, so let it be.
Let there be peace in the North, so let it be.
Let there be peace through all the Worlds.
So let it be.
All present are guided to be fully present.
We gather here in peace for this joyful and sacred occasion that is the First Rite of Passage on the journey we each make upon this Earth. As our Circle is woven and consecrated, this moment in time and this place becomes blessed. Let each soul truly be here that the spirits of those gathered may be blended in one sacred space, with one purpose and one voice.
The Circle is cast or loosely woven, depending on the wishes of the parents. It is consecrated by the priest, creating and blessing the temple for the rite.
So do we call to the spirits of the Three Worlds, that this rite be blessed by the powers of all Creation.
Hail spirits of this sacred land, you whose beauty and power inspires us, as you have inspired those who came before us.
Spirits of the high skies that guide us to stretch and grow; gentle lord of the sun, distant stars, ancestral light; cloud folk who paint such art above us; breath of life, soft breeze and chasing winds; feathered folk who know the dance of freedom upon the wing.
Spirits of the dark earth that holds and feeds us; mud of our lands, rich and fertile soil into which we so deeply root; rocks and stones, gems of the earth, you who give us stability underfoot; trees and plants, creatures four footed and two.
Spirits of the open seas that wash and shape the shores of these lands; meandering rivers, guiding our direction, birthing springs of new life, deep still pools holding us upon our journey; you of the tidal waters, emerging and receding, blood and rain, swimming, diving.
You who offer us freedom, nourishment and rebirth. As our ancestors knew and honoured your power, so do we now. Honour this our rite, we ask you. Inspire and bless those gathered. Blessed be as blessed is.
Offerings are made to the Spirits of Place by the priest. She welcomes the parents and child into the Circle and, if they wish, they too give offereings to the Spirits of Place. The purpose of the rite is then declared.
We gather together on this the (date), on the (moon), in the year (year), in the eye of the Sun and upon this hallowed Earth, to witness this sacred Rite that is the Naming and Welcoming of your (number) child. We come to give thanks for the wonder of new life, to honour the task of parenthood, to thank this child for entering our community.
THE ANCESTORS ARE HONOURED
To know where we have come, let us first honour what and whom have brought us to this place.
In the name of our gods and the gods of our ancestors, we give thanks for all those who have shared with us their lives, their wisdom and their love. On this sacred day of her First Rite, we give thanks especially for the blessings bequeathed to this child by her ancestors of blood and spirit, both those newly departed and those of old.
As spirit dancing in body, creating our lives and the worlds within which we live, we are connected, each soul a part of the web of life. With each thought and movement we touch the web, each word, each song humming upon its shimmering threads. In a family this web of spirit is vivid in colour and form, as blood shared, stories and genes, in a delicate pattern. As a new child enters the world, she brings together, in blood, two families, creating a new seam. At this time, so we honour the grandparents of this child.
The parents give gifts to their own parents (and grandparents).
AFFIRMING THE UNION
The priest speaks to the parents, acknowledging the enormous changes effected by the arrival of a child into their lives. Particular problems overcome may be spoken of here. It is usually best at this stage if the child is held by someone else at the edge of the Circle, leaving the couple time alone together.
(Names of parents), over the years of your relationship, you have explored and expressed your love together, questing inspiration and sharing your creativity. Yet now there is another soul whose energy plays around and between you, creating new and exquisite patterns, sometimes tangling the threads, always changing the world you had before. For a moment, now, take each others hands and behold each other, as if for the first time.
The parents face each other, holding hands.
Through the changes of parenthood, you have grown, revealing new facets, new strengths, skills, depths of courage, new weaknesses and tenderness, yet through it all there is the opportunity for your love and your union to grow richer and stronger. Now, for a moment, see in each other the person they have become
Witnessed by your families, your community, your ancestors and the spirits of this sacred land, do you again vow to each other your love, your loyalty and your commitment?
PARENTS : We do.
Then let it be so.
The parents make their personal vows to each other and the exchange of gifts. Celebration, applause, congratulations may be given according to the importance of this part of the ritual to the particular couple (for example, it may be their first witnessed rite of commitment).
THE COMMITMENT TO THE CHILD
The child is then brought back to the parents.
(Names of parents), you have brought your daughter to this place on the occasion of her First Rite. As her parents, you have principal responsibility for the wellbeing of her body and soul, throughout the journey of her childhood. Do you agree to hold this responsibility wholeheartedly, in freedom, with love and joy, with patience and with trust?
COUPLE : We do.
Then let it be so.
The parents make their personal vows to the child, presenting her gift that symbolize these vows. The gifts may be something the child will keep throughout her life, a family heirloom, or simply a symbol of the words they have spoken.
THE CHILD’S GUARDIANS
(Names of parents), you have chosen three people to act as guardians for your daughter.
The guardians step forward from the edge of the Circle.
Do you, (names of guardians), come here of your own free will, agreeing to take on this role as guardian to this child?
GUARDIANS : We do.
The parents may be asking the guardians for specific help, or may have a very clear idea about what the guardians role should be. These ideas can be spoken here. The words here are a guide:
According to the Old Traditions within which this rite is made, we do not offer the journey of the child’s life to one deity, nor do we bind her to one path, religious or mundane. Instead, our role is simply to honour and give thanks that she has come to our lives. As she reaches into adulthood, in many moons to come, well blessed by the holding of her family and friends, she will make her own decisions with pride and certainty. Until then, you have been asked by her parents to be a support to her, guiding her to find love with trust, freedom in safety, peace with vitality, to live in a sacred manner. Do you agree to act as this child’s guardians?
GUARDIANS : We do.
Then let it be so.
The guardians make their statements of commitment or give their vows, presenting the child with a gift that symbolizes that commitment. They may do this together, reading or reciting one vow that they all share, or individual guardians may make their own offering of commitment.
The parents may then give gifts to the guardians, in thanks for the commitment offered and for the support that this in turn gives to them.
THE BLESSING OF THE CHILD
The child is then blessed by the elements of creation. Specific deities or spirits may be invoked for this, according to the specific religious practice of the parents. The words here are simply a guide:
Honouring the power of nature, within us and around us, goddess of this sacred land, power of moon, womb of creation, god of sun, blade of light and corn, powers of the rain, the high seas and thunder, gods of our ancestors, we bring this child for your blessings.
The parents then take the child to the four cardinal directions. They might begin with the north, where she is laid upon the ground.
(north) Spirits of the North, powers of winter, guardians of earth and stone, strength of wolf and badger, who you teach us of love and loyalty, great bear of the starry skies, Lady of the sacred womb, the rich soil of creation, bless this child with your gifts : true stability, security, nourishment, certainty, the source of rich and fertile creativity.
The child is blessed with a symbol of earth. This may be soft mud smeared upon the soles of her feet, a consecrated stone given to her, or bread, or a gift of metal. The parents or priest may make the blessing, or a guardian, another guest or family member whom the parents feel is appropriate for such a role.
In the east, the child is held up to the skies.
(east) Spirits of the East, powers of spring, of conception, regeneration, vision of falcon and blackbird’s song, swallows’ freedom flight, sylphs of the wind, breath of life, Lord of the rising sun and all new life, bless this child with your gifts : freedom, clarity, open hearted wisdom, pure inspiration, the power of listening. knowledge awakening, the magic of song.
The child is blessed with a symbol of air. As with earth, the blessing can be made by whoever is felt to be appropriate. A song may be sung for the child, bubbles blown, feathers fanning her, or important books of poetry, philosophy, mythology, given as gifts for her lifelong.
In the south, the child is in the father’s arms.
(south) Spirits of the South, powers of summer, pride of stag, fire wit of fox, dragons of the land, sprites of the dancing flame, you who teach us of courage and the power of truth, Lord of the Greenwood, bless this child with your gifts : strength, vitality, clear vision, passion, the courage to be who she can truly be.
The child is blessed with a symbol of fire, again by an appropriate person, the priest or parents. This blessing may be the gift of a candle or lantern, something bright with colour or wild energy. If acceptable, whisky or mead may be offered, or wild berries to signify the sweetness of life untamed.
In the west, the child is held in the arms of the mother.
(west) Spirits of the West, powers of autumn, wild cat and silent owl, stretching to hunt at dusk, wisdom of salmon and otter’s play, undines of chuckling brook, devas that dance our love and emotion, Lady of the Seas, tides of being, bless this child with your gifts : flexibility, direction, love in perfect trust, flow of emotion, rich creativity.
The child is blessed with symbol of water. She may be touched by water, a little poured upon her, or a gift given such as a sea shell, chalice, cup or cauldron.
They return to the altar and thanks are given.
THE NAMING OF THE CHILD
Blessed by the powers of creation, this child begins her journey of life, and for her path, she is offered a name. As she grows and chooses her own way, she may accept or take another name for herself, but she is yet at the beginning of her journey. There is power in a name. It is an invocation and a prayer, a gift that is given with poignancy and emotion. (couple), what is the name that you now offer to your daughter?
PARENTS : (name).
Here the parents may like to explain to those gathered why such a name was chosen. The stories that are relevant may be told. Something may be given to the child that she may know when she grows up why her name was chosen.
Witnessed by her families, her community, her ancestors in body and those in spirit, the gods of her ancestors and those of the land, this child is given her name. (name). Let us welcome her, by her name, saying together :
The child is held up as all those gathered call the welcome.
ALL : (name), welcome! (name), welcome! (name), welcome!
THE CELEBRATION
In order to know in certainty that the flow of this rite is done, we share, while still in the sanctity of the Circle, a celebratory drink.
It is traditional in Druidic rites to celebrate within the sacred space of the ritual, sharing with the spirits of place, ancestors and the gods, declaring a ritual done. Bread and mead are usually used, but cake and champagne can be substituted, or any other drink and food. The priest blesses the feast, the first of both being given back to the land as an offering. The parents may then like to give some to each other and to the child (symbolically if the child is still too young). If the parents wish, they can then move around the Circle, sharing the feast with each, a sip of mead and a chunk of bread. If a toast is to be made during the rite, glasses may be filled and this is the time, with speeches made by those who wish to make them.
Everyone then returns to the edge of the Circle.
THANKSGIVING
This may be done as fully or simply as required. The following is a simple form:
On behalf of (names of parents), and (name of child), I give thanks to all those who have gathered here this day, in body and in spirit, seen and unseen. To the ancestors who have come to witness this rite, those of (child)’s bloodline, of the land and our heritage, we give you thanks for your presence, your blessings and your teachings. From this Circle, we bid you hail and farewell.
To the spirits of the four directions and the elements of creation, earth, air, fire, water, we give you thanks for the blessings gifted to (child) this day. From this Circle, we bid you hail and farewell.
To the spirits of this place, those of the high skies, of the fertile earth beneath us and the seas that hold us, we give you thanks for accepting and inspiring this our rite. From this Circle, we bid you hail and farewell.
Before our rite comes to its end, the Circle opened, let us take a moment in silence to feel what has been gained, that when we leave this place we take with us its gifts, memories rich and real, so honouring fully that which inspires us, and the beautiful child who has brought us together, (child).
The Circle is unwoven or uncast, final words spoken of thanks, affirming peace, and inviting all those gathered to move onto the celebratory feast or whatever is planned.
Blessed Be as Blessed Is
© Emma Restall Orr 2000