I wrote this some time ago, as a fairly newly qualified midwife. It was inspired by a number of still births that I had attended. I would like to dedicate it to all those who have lost a baby.
Born to the shattering silence that prays
Oh god, let them be wrong,
The silence that absorbs your empty body
Before dissolving into the despair of tortured grief.
Where did you go?
Did you change your mind?
Was this just not the right time,
Or these not the right ones?
Or is this all just a bloody horrible mistake?
You are wept over, held, kissed…
This is all they will ever have of you,
Their child.
You are perfect, beautiful,
A waxy doll with rosebud lips.
I look at them with you…
Oh Lady, give me power,
Make me omnipotent for a moment!But you are beyond my magic,
So I bathe you in tears and dress you in your birthday best.
I feel your spirit hovering, preparing to go,
I feel your guides waiting…
With blessings I commend you to Hecate,
Put you in the box and shut the lid.
Sophie Hastie. 1999